Really...

So I need an outlet. I need something that I can't just have me time with. I need to write more and exercise more and eat less. This whole thing is making me want to do nothing but eat. I mean... I've been told "no one is going to love you' and I know it isn't true... but when you hear something like that from some one you think you love and cannot live with out... it kind of sticks with you.  I am not broken. I will not become broken because of him... I will be stronger (and not that I'm looking right now) I will find some one who loves me and loves monster and treats us both like we should be treated.
I am not a excellent writer... I have never claimed to be. But I joined a group on Facebook as inspiration. I'm hoping that I can advance as a writer. :) but for tonight I am going to snuggle with Monster and watch Little Einsteins.

Changes

Big changes are coming. Axel and I are gonna have big changes. Were moving into our own place! As scary as it is. I'm actually kind of excited. I've never been on my own and have never been able to decorate as I want to have the bedding I want without having to have someone else's input.
It scary... I've never lived "on my own" I have always lived with someone else.... by the end of the year I'd like to move back to Dallas area to be closer to mom. I do want to do this on my own though.

How do you explain to a smart 3 year old he is going to have two homes? One with mommy and one with daddy? And he won't have his kitties or dogs all the time any longer? How to decide which toys he is going to take and which to leave so he has some when he sees his dad? I am so lost but excited to find myself again. As sad and scary as this adventure is. I know that God will lead me where I go as long as I listen and follow him.